emil higgs will tear your ass up

So how do you know if your hand is broken?

Grims are stupid. And I hate tea leaves.

[Warded to Lavender]
There's a bunch of other stuff that can look like a grim all twisted, right?

[Warded to Frankie]

Next time I hear about a function or anything with a bunch of society assholes, I'm bringing you, and we're gonna snog with every pureblood I can manage watching. Cool with you?

[/ward]

I need to hire a translator or something. I'm pretty sure I'm looking at an invoice in Urdu. Why do I run this fucking shop again?

Oh yeah, cause I'm a slacker and this was better than petty crime. Bad Hufflepuff. Still.

[T]

Alright. I'm good now. Although still hung over as fuck. Should I come find you?

[Warded to the sisters Greengrass]

Okay, I'm hung over as fuck right now, so I'm just gonna try to say this as simply and gently as I can.

T and I are blood traitors. We don't want to marry you, and I promise, you don't want to marry us either.

Astoria, you and I can talk about this if you want to. Daphne, T is probably going to try to take this out on you. It's not your fault, and I'm sure you're both lovely girls and I'm sure he'd have nothing against you under other circumstances. But he's been through this before already and the same initial hatred happened, so it's not just you, but he can't handle being told what to do. Please, neither of you feel bad about this. Our parents are just assholes.

Now that's what I call a party!

Who: Emil and Terrence Higgs
Where: Hogsmeade
When: November 29, 1997
What: Getting Emil out of Hogwarts.

( I don't care what we have to do, man, but you gotta get me out. )